High performance doesn’t have to feel this hard.
August 14th 2021. My parents, grandparents, and girlfriend are outside on the patio at my parents' house to celebrate my 24th birthday. This was the first socially acceptable birthday I was able to celebrate since COVID had locked the world down the year prior. It’s 10:50 p.m., and I’m upstairs in my room racing against the clock to hand in my Core 2 module assignment before 11:59 p.m. MT. For the past two hours I had balanced being downstairs for my own birthday and being in my room trying to finish my weekly CPA assignment before the deadline. I’m frustrated, angry at myself, and guilty that I’m absent from my own party. I frantically wrap up a submission to the best of my abilities to obtain an effortful completion mark at best. I go to submit my assignment and hit a save error with OneDrive. My face is red-hot, I’m sweating like I’m watching cops, and I’m directing every profanity in my vocabulary toward my laptop. I fix the issue and hand in my assignment. I look at the clock, and it’s 11:02 p.m. I had traded time with my family to celebrate my birthday for three hours of turmoil and a blank submission.
This standalone event is not my reason for leaving public accounting, but I share this to empathize with the extreme pressure junior level staff are under in the financial services sector. In the CPA pathway specifically, you’re taught a lot about accounting standards, audit principles, tax sections, and ethical issues, but you’re never taught how to manage yourself. One year into my accounting career, I started to explore how this would be possible. I practiced mindfulness meditation, I journalled, I utilized counselling, and I started to listen to my values. By the time I had made my decision to leave and help others in the world of the mind, I had already developed a way of being that allowed me to excel in my current accounting career. This allowed me to stick it out through one last busy season and this time, without wanting to set my hair on fire every time I got home.
The financial services industry and it’s norms are unlikely to change in the future. The high paying high progression incentives will always draw in competition, and that inevitably leads to long hours being worked to stay competitive and stand out. It would take a change in our economic system or some other radical event to change the norms. For this reason, I take the stance that we can’t change the hours and pressures that these professions demand; however, we can change how we interact and react to them. We can view a 10 hour day as dreadful, or we can decide to take pride in being useful and providing valuable insights, we can find appreciation in small moments throughout the day, and we can have faith that the costs of this career are worth the benefits down the line. Your day is only as good as your experience, and your experience is only as good as your perception. I believe you cannot control a good deal of what happens throughout the day, but you can have a large impact on how you perceive it and how this impacts you. I hope to help others make this shift and learn not just tolerate, but enjoy the pathway ahead.
I started this practice to help others in the same position I once was in. I decided on the name “Going Inside” based on a song of the same title by John Frusciante (Guitarist for the Red Hot Chili Peppers). This song was written as part of a solo album following John’s recovery from drug addiction. I’ve never struggled with drug addiction personally, but I believe this song captures the fear and vulnerability that comes with jumping into something where outcomes are uncertain. “Going inside” represents an act of bravery and responsibility. Not doing something without fear, but being fearful and doing it anyway. I’ve played this song at every transitional period in my own life, and I hope that others can experience the same empathy and motivation this song has given me.
The financial services industry is one of the fastest places to progress your career and the growth rate is unlike any other industry. If you’ve found it difficult to manage yourself and the demands of life in this industry, it may be time to consider developing new skills, tools and ways of being that help make life more enjoyable. Life isn’t a single player game and I’m happy to work with you towards achieving your goals and developing the skills that help you live a better life. If you’re curious what going inside looks like or just want to test if I’m the right person to help, please feel free to reach out via email (Jordan@goinginsidecounselling.ca) or phone/text (604~368~1533). Everyone has different comfort levels when it comes to accepting help, let alone asking for it. Counselling can be tough work, but the positive outcomes can be invaluable and stick with you for the rest of your life. If you feel that now might be the time to explore this, give me a shout.